Hello fellow Ivy Lifers :) I am a graduate of the Columbia University School of Social Work. During an evening networking event at Primary, Chris had suggested members share some of their talent with other members. As a Nonprofit Organizational Management Executive I depend on the good will of our donors to help the families and children we serve have the resources they need to be successful. To pay it forward I would like to share with this membership the wealth of knowledge and resources I have collected in my career in regards to parenting challenges. If you are like me, all of your hard work and successes cumulate in the reward of being able to provide well for your family. But life sometimes gets in the way and we can use the insight of other parents to help us navigate challenges. I would like to open this discussion to create opportunity to explore different skills we can utilize to parent our children successfully.
I will start with a skill I have taught to the families when I was a home-based Multi-Systemic Therapist---
Many parents work to change an undesirable behavior by taking something away from a child, such as cell phone use or video game time. But did you know that an undesirable behavior is more likely to be extinguished and not rear its ugly head again when coupled with a MEANINGFUL incentive? Meaningful is the key word. If your child does not identify the incentive as something they desire greatly it does not affect change as well. And it need not be expensive or elaborate. One teen I worked with loved when the family got Chinese take out for dinner. So if she refrained from the undesirable behavior, for example coming home late on weeknights, then mom would get take out that week. The desired behavior increased and was reinforced weekly. Of course if she was late, no take out. So don't pick an incentive the entire family would miss if taken away :)
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